It’s over. My weekly journey along Katipunan Avenue, brief walk along Aurora Blvd. to Honda, some quick struts past the pedestrian lane across which QCPIR is located, it’s over. It’s been a while. I’ve grown accustomed to that path that it has become almost a routine. Dancing with the busy street as people and cars speed up to reach their own homes. I can only recall how anxious (to the point of being paranoid) i was to travel that far at night. But all of it succumbed to the excitement and thirst to feel happy.

My Wednesday nights are as lifeless as one can imagine. Before that, when i still had acad subjects to fill it in, it was tiresome. Happy, yes. Busy, hell yeah. Exhausting, of course it is. But never was it fulfilling. With the subjects removed, that busy sked was replaced by empty ramblings and random activities with my constant companion, my pc. Alone. Good thing Insti came along to save me from boredom. It even brought more stuff as a plus.

3 months. 3 absences. 3 streets to walk along in the middle of the night. 1 book to ponder. to discover. to testify.

It was a thankful experience. Of course, it was my first ever Insti Class to finish. As my classmates bore their testimonies, the truth struck me. I’ve gained a few pounds. At least my spiritual body did. It was all worth it. The long walk back, crossing the street, travel along Katipunan, and the long walk back again from Law. I might not walk this same path again.

Today’s Religion 122 (Institute Class) tackles some very strong relevant topics. I would have wished more people have participated in, or at least heard, the discussions. I am much delighted i did hear it myself, after having second thoughts of attending tonight’s class. I was caught up with much stuff at work the entire day. Add the thesis i had to worry about, i barely have enough time. So i think… i rationalize. But sometimes it’s always good to stop for a while. That’s when you appreciate there is more important things to learn. Our own salvation for example. I’m really moved by this topic. Allow me to share the highlights of the discussion along with my personal views.

I did feel this BoM chapters are for me, as it is for all of us. We commit sin in different levels. We ask forgiveness in a hundred ways.

Repentance

At the beginning of class, we were presented four questions. After which, we were asked which is the easiest and which is the hardest to answer. These questions are:

1. What is repentance?
2. Why should i repent?
3. How does a person truly repent?
4. How will i know if I have been truly forgiven of my sins?

The degree of the above question’s difficulty depends on every person. Most would answer the 4th. More important than the order however are the answers to the questions itself. As discussed, we all sin but we differ in perception on forgiveness. Especially for those who do not know the gospel. For a start, discontinuing a sin does not imply forgiveness. This is very misleading to most people. Another misconception is that seeking forgiveness is easy. We can sin now and ask forgiveness later. Anyway it’s easy. Alma 36, the story of Alma the Younger’s conversion, shows that it’s not easy at all.

12 But I was racked with eternal torment, for my soul was harrowed up to the greatest degree and racked with all my sins.
13 Yea, I did remember all my sins and iniquities, for which I was tormented with the pains of hell; yea, I saw that I had rebelled against my God, and that I had not kept his holy commandments.
14 Yea, and I had murdered many of his children, or rather led them away unto destruction; yea, and in fine so great had been my iniquities, that the very thought of coming into the presence of my God did rack my soul with inexpressible horror.
15 Oh, thought I, that I could be banished and become extinct both soul and body, that I might not be brought to stand in the presence of my God, to be judged of my bdeeds.

Forgiveness requires suffering. Sin can’t easily be forsaken. Of course, you wouldn’t know you have sinned at all if you don’t feel guilty of the things you have done in the first place. Admittance is the first step. After that, we slowly realize the extent of our sin. We then feel the burden of guilt, the thought that we have been selfish, and that we have made the Lord sorrowful. Just like Alma did. From the supplemental video we watched,

Suffering is not a punishment by the Lord. It’s not as if we have to suffer in order to be forgiven. But we suffer in order to change.

Most important to remember about forgiveness is that we can only be saved/forgiven through God’s mercy. True repentance comes through asking the Lord in faith, believing in Him. Cry to the Lord (Alma 36:18). Humble yourself to Him. The atonement of Jesus is a wonderful gift that allows us to come back to the Lord as we wish. It made forgiveness of sins possible. It is up to us to seek Him.

As important as turning ourselves back in to the fold is keeping ourselves in it. However repentant we may have been, we will continually be tried. It was our weakness after all. A nice virtue to learn is how to forsake the sin, denying ourselves of ever commiting the same mistake again.

Finally, here is a rough enumeration of the steps to repentance:

Forgiveness is a wonderful gift from the Lord. I love these verses in the Book of Mormon. It teaches us that there is a way to come back. It will be a difficult and thorny path. But if we pursue the path, great shall be our joy at the end. As Alma says,

21 Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.

Sin
What could be the worst sins to commit? Alma 39 answers (1) sexual sin, (2) murder, and (3) denying of the Holy Ghost. At all cost, we SHOULD avoid commiting these sins. Although there is a way to gain forgiveness from the first two, the mountain to climb is very high. Commiting them is like falling a thousand feet into the pit. It’s scary. The third sin is totally unpardonable.

Favorite Scripture Passage:

Favorite Quote:

If a person hasn’t suffered, he hasn’t repented… He has got to go through a change in his system whereby he suffers and then forgiveness is a possibility.
- Spencer W. Kimball

This is the product of that idea. It’s not a product of thorough planning. Just a desire! What i planned is another blog focused on a specific topic. But to what topic, that subject eluded me for a long time. Not until tonight.

This i believe is inspired of the Lord. As Latter-day Saints, we are encouraged to keep a journal. This is my journal specific to my study of the Book of Mormon. This will help me preserve my thoughts and feelings towards each chapter and verse in the scripture.

Caveat: Since i only attended 2nd semester, this journey begins in Alma 29.